A Prayer for Owen Meany, Simon Birch and a Sunday Rescue Quote!

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I think about and miss Elizabeth everyday. After Elizabeth passed my paternal grandfather also passed away.
My grandfather’s death so soon after Elizabeth was very hard to deal with. It was like I enmeshed the two deaths as one. So it hurt twice as much.
My grandfather is one of my only connections to my father, who also passed away. My father’s death, changed the course of my life forever but that’s another story.

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This is the last picture I took with my grandfather, a little over a year ago when I visited in Puerto Rico. He suffered from Alzheimer’s, and everyone said he might not know who I was but he knew. He recognized me instantly and asked for my sister. He then went on to talk about his sons, asking for the ones that were here in the U.S.

I try to think about the lessons learned from these experiences.
About the preciousness of time, love, being happy in the moment, gratefulness and death…..that everything dies…

And certain books and movies or little things I hear really get to me. I try to find meaning in everything lately.

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I was watching “Simon Birch” a movie loosely based on John Irving’s “A Prayer for Owen Meany”, some parts were changed and he brokered a deal that the movie could not have the same title.

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I saw John Irving once, at a reading and he choose an excerpt from “A Prayer for Owen Meany”. I read the book immediately after and it was about faith, about a little boy who believed he was born the way he was for a reason.

Recently I was sitting in bed, the movie was on tv and I realize the movie was based on the John Irving book!
I’ve been watching this movie since I was much younger but watching it now, its different, I guess because I’m different.
I heard this quote from the narrator of the movie:

When someone you love dies, you don’t lose them all at once, you lose them over time, in little pieces”

It made me stop breathing, I could so relate!
He goes on to say the thing he missed most about his mother was her scent and he hated the way it started to disappear.I thought yeah me too. I still try to find Elizabeth’s smell all over the house and I cry when I can’t find it. I think Snoopy our Jack Russell does too. He walks around the house sniffing the floors, the dog beds, her favorite spots.

But it also gave me faith! That everything happens for a reason, that there are no accidents, that there is a god and he has a plan, like Simon believes. Simon’s faith is wonderful, something to be envied.

That’s the power of writing and storytelling, it can give comfort in pain, make you laugh and cry.

I was on a puppy rescue site looking at rescue pups and I came across a paragraph that I’ve been reciting to myself since, I keep thinking this quote is meant to rescue me.

just like the Simon Birch quote, It touched me and I don’t have the author’s name to give credit to but I wish I did, because their words gave me comfort and made me think!

So thank you unknown author for this!

“Life is filled with trials and tribulations, its moments of victory and glory. Neither the ups nor the downs can be avoided no matter how desperately one might try. The best one can do is remember that everything is temporal and whether the situation to be endured is pleasant or unpleasant is inconsequential. Both are fleeting experiences and shall pass with time.
All the sayings about the “preciousness” of time are true and when life unveils in ways that demonstrate this lesson clearly, it behooves the recipient TO PAY ATTENTION. Otherwise the lessons keeps repeating until we wise up enough to learn what is necessary in our process of individual evolution”

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4 thoughts on “A Prayer for Owen Meany, Simon Birch and a Sunday Rescue Quote!

  1. Kat, I take this posting to be a sign that you are healing. While Lizzie will be a part of your heart forever, I can tell that you are going forward. I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. He too will remain in your heart along with your father & Lizzie.

  2. Kat, that last quote really got me (chills) …

    I believe we sign up for this, all of this, because we are here to learn and grow and the situations that happen to us, forces this growth.

    As for the smells… yes… “I keep Kerry’s wallet in a ziplock bag. Years later it still smells of worn leather and stale Marlboro reds…” So you know… his sneakers STILL smell 🙂

    In death, you do lose some things but you also gain a great deal. I KNOW Kerry is not gone, he is just not here. I KNOW Kerry came here to help and teach us. He came for us.

    I adopted Sasha shortly after Liz passed on and I have been worrying I’m going to do something that will cause her death. It’s very illogical but I think this is a sort of PTS thing – residue from Kerry’s loss… still. I’m going to focus on it and let it go. Thank you for that gentle reminder.

    I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather and Liz and I understand that experiencing them so close together is difficult but I can’t help but visualize them together – both of them watching over you. You are surrounded by love. You have attracted this into your life. You are blessed. xoxolove, Shannon

    1. Thank you Shannon, I know you understand better than anyone I know. Sasha is beautiful, enjoy her, she will be with you a short time compared to the rest of us, it just doesn’t seem fair.
      But I am learning, changing and part of missing Lizzie and my grandfather is the realization that I’ll never be as happy as I was when they were here with me, that I’ll never feel complete again in either my home here or my home in Puerto Rico.
      But life goes on and takes on new meaning and it might never be the same again but there’s a reason for that.
      I’ll never forget…and hopefully we’ll meet again.
      Thanks again! Hope to meet Sasha soon.
      Xoxo

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